In television shows with a female lead, e.g. Sex and the City, Emily in Paris, why is it that the female lead’s friends’ love interests cannot be more attractive than the female lead’s love interest? For instance, in Sex and the City, all of Carrie’s friends dated men far more attractive than Mr. Big. The writers apparently thought it was best to taint Miranda’s Robert (played by Blair Underwood) and Charlotte’s Trey (played by Kyle MacLachlan), both successful and more physically attractive than Mr. Big, with some serious character flaw. In the television series, Samantha ended up with budding male model Smith Jarrod who is objectively hotter than Mr. Big. However, in the first Sex and the City movie, Smith Jarrod had become a successful movie star. At this point, the writers just had to break up Samanta and Smith Jarrod because Carrie’s friends cannot have a boyfriend who’s both hotter and more successful than her boyfriend. This is a pattern we can see in several other television shows. I wonder why this is so. Do television writers think that women are so competitive against each other that we cannot be happy for the success and happiness of our female friends? Or do the writers think that we are only happy for the success and happiness of our female friends as long as they are not more successful and happier than ourselves? Are they wrong?
Do you know what a tradwife is? So a “tradwife” is a woman who doesn’t work so as to look after their children, their husband, their home, and then talk non-stop about how great this is on social media. These tradwife content creators on YouTube and TikTok espouse nostalgia for the 1950s housewife, a la Betty Draper, that ignores the stifling limitations put on women in the 50s like not being able to get a credit card or having to submit to their husbands without question. I understand that in certain parts of the world, and in some situations, women have no choice but to be tradwives. I also understand if there are some women who truly enjoy domesticity. What I don’t understand is why some of these “tradwives” have to promote ridiculous and dangerous ideas, such as women having to be submissive to their husbands, and supporting patriarchy, on social media. If you are making money out of creating content and posting it on social media, are you truly a tradwife? These tradwives on social media should really stop calling themselves tradwives. They have nothing in common with Betty Draper. They should really call themselves what they really are: entrepreneurs.
Speaking of tradwives, I wonder if men prefer them over working women? I wouldn’t be surprised if they do. What if I have a husband who takes care of the cooking and the laundry, treats me like a baby, spends half his day grooming himself to look good for me, and whose very existence revolves around my satisfaction for as long as I am providing for him financially? Would I be happy? The real question is: why wouldn’t I be? What if the State allows me to marry more than one of these tradhusbands as long as I can afford to financially support them? Many men across the world live this way. No wonder some of them don’t want things to change. What I don’t understand is why tradwives don’t want things to change. Yes, making a living may suck sometimes but not as much as when you have to suppress who you are to be “pleasant” for someone else.
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Robert was honestly the best boyfriend on SATC (although admittedly, I also have a soft spot for Big and Carrie in general); and I also really liked Steve--I hated that they had him go through that weird infidelity plot line in the movie, as if Miranda couldn't just have the hotter guy, she also couldn't have a better functioning long-term relationship than Carrie. And gosh, I just noticed that about Trey and Smith. I always felt like the show always kind of punished the other girls for their defining "quirk" (Miranda for being a career-driven woman, Samantha for being sexually liberal, Charlotte for being the "traditionally pretty" one), but always forgave Carrie for all of her character flaws. xD It really was the Carrie Bradshaw show--but that said, I also enjoyed it. I always think of this whole "Main Character Energy" and "Romanticize Your Life" stuff that we see on social media and wonder if having a society comprised of main characters really just means a society of narcissists? No one wants to be "the bestfriend" and I think that's also why it's so hard for everyone to make friends these days. Friendship requires a shifting of roles; you can't be the leading lady all the time. And the sad thing is, I think that call to action of being the protagonist is almost exclusively targeted toward women. No one has to tell men to be "the main character" of their lives, they just ARE it.
I have this running joke with some other friends that if we ever get exhausted, we'll just look for some old, dying white guys who will want us to pay attention to them and then leave us their entire fortune when they die. #AFAM But in reality, I feel like that kind of lifestyle would kill me. Betty Draper is one of my problematic faves because she did represent that dangerous nostalgia which is so tempting to buy into as "being better" than "what we have now". I get the same feeling watching her as I do reality TV shows like "90-Day Fiancee". It's terrible but I can't stop watching for what'll happen next.
My favorite character on Mad Men was Joan. She deserved better.
The whole tradwives thing is so crazy! I can imagine it's like being in the hospitality industry but 10,000 x worse because not all tradhusbands (WAHA) are even rich or nice AND you don't get a salary? So strange.
I had this former friend (the one I told you about) who once asked me, "Is it so bad to want to be God's gift to women?" He said his fantasy was to lie down in his dream girl's lap and cry after a long day of building a corporate empire. He said he envisioned his dream girl to be talented and/or driven/famous, but "taking a break from the hustle and bustle of life" aka not working at the moment. Meanwhile he is currently still unemployed and terrorizing women in the art/literature scene by giving them the gift of himself. And I think this is why we're no longer friends.